Today was a gorgeous day and I spent the majority of it outside in my backyard, relaxing and enjoying the sunshine with my animals. I did a fair bit of writing and gained some understanding about the source of the anxiety and stress that have been weighing on me lately. It was one of those moments where you realize the underlying issue at play and see why changing the external circumstances doesn't create any lasting shift in your situation. For me it has to do with remembering to appreciate the moment and not focus on the uncertainty of the future. I don't mean to sound cryptic - I will go into it in more depth in another post because I think it's something that may resonate with some people. For now I'll just say that I made a point of enjoying the day for its own sake today. My pets seemed to appreciate it - they chilled out with me all day and set a great example. I mean, does this guy look like he's worried about things to come?
I also did some spinning today, although not as much as I'd planned. It got really hot in the afternoon and the wool was not working for me, even in the shade. I was working on spinning one of my first dyed rovings, which I thought I had half-finished before. Turns out I wasn't quite done the first bobbin, but I finished that today. I'm really liking these colors - they're turning out very soft and creamy, and I think the final yarn is going to be really pretty. Here's the first bobbin full!
Throughout the day I feasted on the raspberries growing in the front yard. I didn't realize that my mother-in-law (aka my landlady) planted them there last year and I just discovered them recently. I absolutely love eating sun-warmed berries right off the bush in my own yard! There's something so satisfying and wholesome about having food available for free in your own garden. I'd really like to start a veggie garden as well - grow some peas and tomatoes and corn. Yum!
I couldn't resist snapping this picture. Gotta love summer...
July 11, 2009
Relaxing At Home
July 8, 2009
Recharging... with Art!
Lately I've been finding myself in need of some serious recharging and renewal. Without really doing it on purpose, I ended up withdrawing from all the things I normally love doing (knitting, spinning, blogging, etc). And I think it's because I'd managed to turn my hobbies into "work" in the sense that I was starting to feel guilty and stressed out if I wasn't doing them almost all the time. I was putting so much pressure on myself, by turning ideas and goals into obligations and deadlines, until I just had to take a break for a little while. For the last few weeks I haven't done a whole lot in the way of crafts for my Etsy shop - instead I've just been letting myself do whatever interests me. And now I can see things from a different perspective and I think this is exactly what I needed to help breathe new life into my shop and my craft. So, here are some of the things I've been up to...
I've been watching tons of videos on YouTube about art and keeping an art journal. There are lots of great videos and channels dedicated to art but the one that caught my attention first and served as my gateway into the world of art-themed videos was Suziblutube. I especially love her Art Journal Playshop videos, which offer prompts, ideas and inspiration for journal pages. Her enthusiasm for art is so infectious that I had to go out and get a journal for myself. Another really great one is Willowing. Her videos weave together art and spirituality and present the idea of an art journal as therapy, which is exactly what it's been in my experience.
I've been keeping my journal for about 2 weeks now and I am surprised at how much I love it! I've never really considered myself an artist in terms of visual art - I never even had much of an interest in making art. But I have been enjoying it on so many levels. Because of the fact that I didn't know anything about drawing and painting when I started this, I had no expectations of myself at all. It has been so wonderful to allow myself to be a beginner again and to be okay with making mistakes! It's shown me that I need to show myself patience and kindness and compassion, which is something I think I've needed for a long time. I've heard it time and time again - if you're not willing to make mistakes you can never make anything original. There have been moments while I'm painting in my journal that I've gotten so absorbed in the process that I don't even worry about the outcome, and that is something I have not felt in a long time. I'm hoping to bring this same attitude to my knitting, sewing, spinning, etc. because I really do love it and I miss being excited about filling up my shop coming up with new ideas. I think that's going to be the key to getting my enthusiasm back. Trying new things, and being willing to make mistakes. I've got some yarn I don't mind wrecking - it's time to get bold with my knitting!
Anyway, here's a little slide show of my art journal so far. There's only a few pages but I thought I'd show you what I've been doing...
Another thing that really appeals to me about these women on YouTube is that they seem so honest and they share so much of themselves. This is something I've struggled with - finding a balance between being professional in my Etsy shop and sharing personal content on my blog and elsewhere. And with the art I've been making I find I'm able to be more candid because I'm not trying to make a business out of it. And the interactions I've had with some of the other folks on YouTube have been so very authentic and satisfying that I plan to bring some of that transparency into my shop and my blog as well. Right now I'm all about integrating the various facets of myself into a whole representation of who I am and what I'm passionate about. Because afterall, isn't that what drew me to Etsy and the idea of sharing my work online in the first place?
So, I'm going to focus on trusting the process, relaxing into it and being patient with myself. I have lots of great ideas and if I don't get around to them all this season, I'll just have to save them for next year... and trust that the time will be right then. When we exert too much control over the direction we take we can end up missing out on some great twists and turns. Basically I'm beginning to realize that if I stop thinking of my life as being compartmentalized into work and play, productive or non-productive use of time, etc. I can look at everything I do as having value and helping me get to where I want to be.
Now I'm itching to get back to "work" on my Etsy stuff with a new sense of perspective. I'm going to start with spinning because it is in itself a very meditative process and I think it will be a great way to gently get back on track and get myself motivated to do more. I'm about half way done spinning some SW Merino that I dyed myself - one of my very first attempts (the green one) and then I'm going to dive into this amazing roving I got the other day from All Spun Up on Etsy. Isn't it gorgeous?
I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. I'm so glad I gave myself this time to reflect and recharge.
April 5, 2009
A New Goal - 100 Items!
I've been in a nice creative mode lately. Between making a whole whack of new headbands and pouches, and fine-tuning the other new ideas I have for the upcoming months, I've really been excited about my work! I've been listing regularly, participating in forum discussions on Etsy and reading lots of blogs. It's been great getting reacquainted with all the awesome people on Etsy and my enthusiasm for my shop has been renewed - it feels really good!
Still, I've noticed myself stalking my own shop, checking and rechecking for sales and other activity. You Etsy sellers know the what I mean - you log on, check out the shop, answer convos, maybe head to the forums, make a few posts. And hey, while you're still on you might as well check the shop again. Maybe read a couple of blogs, check out Ravelry or Flickr or the like. And you never know, maybe something's happened in the shop by now, better check again... and so on until you start to feel disappointed and discouraged that nothing has sold and you want to scream at yourself to step away from the computer! And of course meanwhile all that time could have been spent actually making something! It's okay, you don't have to admit it (but I might feel less crazy if you did!) I know I can't be the only one!
I've decided it's time for me to try a new tactic. I want to enjoy the creative process and the feeling of productivity and stop at that. I don't want to worry about whether or not things are going to sell when I'm making them because it inevitably takes much of the fun and freedom out of the process. So, I've got myself a new goal. Instead of watching my sales so closely I'm going to focus on filling up my shop. I'm aiming for 100 items and I'm really looking forward to working toward that goal. I've got some great ideas for Spring and Summer and I want to approach them whole-heartedly. And hey, if sales are slow, it'll actually be helping me to reach 100 items. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but at least I'll have something else to focus on!
In a similar vein, I'm reading a GREAT book right now called "Your Money or Your Life" by Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez. It's all about changing your relationship with money and work, and (among other things) recognizing the value of the unpaid work that you do in your life. The book is basically set up like a course, and I'm just reading it through once to get a broad view before I start in on the program. I plan to start a new series on my blog to share any insights I gain in the process of working through the book in earnest. For now, in order to help escape the craft=sales trap, I'm making a point of noticing all the things I get from selling on Etsy that have nothing to do with money. Like the chance to get to know so many great people and talented artists, and the encouragement and kindness of other sellers, or being a part of a movement that is questioning the mentality of our society and working to re-educate people on the value of handmade art. These are just a few of the many benefits of Etsy, the ones that are available whether sales are up or down.
Artwork by (you guessed it) an Ape!"In The Biology of Art, zoologist Desmond Morris tells of an experiment in introducing the "profit motive" to apes. The first step was teaching them to be artists and to produce drawings and paintings that were decidedly lovely. Once their "art" was established he began to "pay" them, rewarding them with peanuts for their work. Under the reward system their artwork quickly deteriorated, and they began turning out hasty scrawls just to get the peanuts. "Commercialism" destroyed the apes as artists and got them scrambling for the peanut instead."
Something to think about... Fellow crafters, feel free to leave your thoughts on this subject in a comment - I'd love to hear them! What do you do to stay motivated when sales are down? What other forms of "payment" do you get for your artwork?
March 23, 2009
Rediscovering Leisure
Yesterday was another gorgeous day and I feel great for having taken full advantage of the first couple Spring days we've had. On Saturday after I found that cutting up old clothes can be a huge mood booster, I made the most of my motivation and went for an hour-and-a-half bike ride, my first since I packed the bike away for the winter. I rode all through the trails by my house, up to the park and the man-made (but still beautiful) lake there. It was a wonderful first day of Spring.
Yesterday I taught my guitar lessons, did some spinning on the deck, and then met up with my brother for dinner. We had about an hour left of daylight after we ate so we took my guitar and a drum and hung out in a field near my house.
It occurred to me as we were playing songs and enjoying the sunshine that I still felt anxious. I had this nagging feeling that I should be doing something. Like in order to really be making the most of the day and the moment I should either be doing something productive or at least entertaining. I realized that since I've become an adult and been increasingly able to buy different things and experiences I've become increasingly unable to just relax and be.
I used to do it all the time. I would spend hours just sitting outside listening to music, or reading, or writing, or just daydreaming. Now, if I think of doing something outside, it's always something that requires planning ahead and organizing some kind of activity, usually something I pay for. So, I've decided to work on getting back to basics. To allow myself true leisure time, without having to have something to show for it afterward. To focus on the quality of the story of my life instead of just the plot.
I have noticed lately that whenever I am asked to spend time with someone, I immediately run through all the other things I could accomplish with that time. I feel like I have to justify every moment I spend. I can foresee this kind of thinking getting out of hand very quickly, and I know it's already hurt some of the people I love when I am always making excuses why I can't see them. I think in our society "work" always trumps leisure or recreational time, and I really don't want that to be the way I live my life. So, I'm making a conscious decision to reassert my right to leisure and to welcome spontaneity back into my life. After all, if I hadn't agreed to sit with my brother in a field yesterday I would have missed out on this:
Which, as it turned out, was the perfect end to an awesome day.
